A few of the men said they cared less about makeup and other accessories that make African women look dolled up.
What they are concerned with, is a woman who is brash and overstated.
“She does not know when to quit and let sleeping dogs lie,” said Alfred.
It is somehow also assumed that African women know what African men want in a relationship. But, times have changed, things have changed, and so have our expectations of each other when it comes to relationships.
Those who care to admit it will make known the fact that dating African men can be quite complex for women who do not know their way around the complications of these gentle – yet firm, protective – yet defensive, peace loving – yet forceful souls.
Many African men still believe this is the primary responsibility of the woman in the house.
They do understand the fact that women today are increasingly working outside the home, but yet, many said they still want to come home to a home-cooked meal, a clean home, and a loving and caring woman.
“I cannot stand a woman who thinks she has to have a say in everything – she knows everything and she has to say it even if the atmosphere is not conducive.” Loyalty was another one that topped the list that didn’t quite stand out on its own.
Apparently, the saying “stand by your man,” was not just sung in the 50’s and 60’s. Many men said they want, and need to know, that their woman will be there for them, to support them and care for them no matter the circumstances: whether rich or poor, educated or not, faithful or not…As society changes, so do the dynamics in many relationships – out with the old way of doing things and in with the new – but not when it comes to who’s responsible for keeping the home.
Character and moral behavior apparently will get you in the door and keep you there; your bedroom skills will be an added advantage.
According to Chukwudi, “If you thought the saying ‘lady in the streets and a freak in the bed’ was an American saying, you might want to think again.” While African men are exceedingly patient with their women when it comes to sex – because they understand that their sexual attitude is a direct result of the same culture and upbringing responsible for the way African men think and behave – many say they expect a woman to learn quickly.“Life can be really dull when you find yourself with a woman unwilling to experiment different things in the bedroom,” insists Chukwudi who says his experiences with dating Nigerian women (and one or two other African nationalities) has been nothing but frustrating where their sex life was concerned.
African men are looking for the whole package just as African women are also looking for the whole package, but sometimes compromises must be made.