If you work with him, he will arrive early and spend his pre-clock coffee time longingly gazing outside his office window, eagerly anticipating your arrival. This information will typically be sought out within the first three minutes of seeing him, and with the subtlety of a Mac truck going 100 miles per hour. Call me crass, or more pointedly, totally irresponsible. But if he knows that you aren't on any method of birth control, yet has no qualms about taking orgasmic liberties with your vaginal canal, this backwards bachelor foresees a future not just with you, but your potential demon seeds. He sounds like a skipping CD of that annoying yet infectious "Pit Bull" song "I Know You Want Me". But it doesn't take a degree in abnormal psychology to figure out that your on pretty heavy rotation in his romantic fantasy file. Unlike the stereotypical "bad man" in a Lifetime movie, the damaged man will slyly keep tabs on you.
The blinds on said window are broken and bent from his coffee laden hands ripping them apart in desperate search of your Hyundai Sonata. He wants to create a picturesque suburban house of cards based on a mind altering, infinite dose of L. "You're like, totally obsessed with me"', he scoffs. I bet you think about me every night before you go to bed". He is suave, and, to the untrained eye, entirely inconspicuous, much like an off duty police officer in a seedy club.
The macho dysfunctional type is allergic to Facebook, or, more accurately, your friend request.
He doesn't want to give you any rose-colored fantasies of future coupledom, nor does he wish to tip you off to the existence of any other sad contenders for his calloused hand.
I am not referring to someone that is intentionally hurtful, cruel, abusive, and/or sadistic.
This article is in no way intended to condone or endorse any emotional, physical, financial, or other type of abuse by any person against another.
Notwithstanding, the man vehemently insists that he has no feelings for you.
Yet, your intuition tells you that, much like Justin Bieber in a rented Lamborghini, he's riding dirty.
“When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” ~Maya Angelou After having been a rebound girl the summer of 2013, I swore I would never get involved with another emotionally unavailable man who had baggage and was a poor communicator.
I thought I was a pro at all of the tell tale signs. He came on very strong in the beginning, telling me he deleted his dating app after our first date, that he turned down other dates because he didn’t want to waste time with other girls, and showed me in more ways than one that I was his priority. Things were at the height of our relationship, and I use this word loosely because it really wasn’t a relationship.
He then invites you to his office for a quick cup of instant. He will scan the return labels of mail left on the table in your foyer, the contents of unlocked bathroom cabinets and drawers, and any online account for which you made the costly mistake of checking the box "remember this computer". I'm not talking about that terrifying clown from that Stephen King book/movie, I'm talking about the other IT.